I Wish I Never Met You

If I never met you, I wouldn’t know what it feels like to drink an entire bottle of wine, cry myself to sleep hoping that when I wake up you’re right next to me telling me you love me.

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Mike Von / Unsplash

If there was a genie in a bottle who will grant me even one wish, I know exactly what I would wish for.

I wish that I never met you.

If I never met you, I wouldn’t know what it feels like to have this mind-numbing pain of wanting someone I cannot have.

If I never met you, I wouldn’t know what it feels like to have my heart broken every Friday when you are with her instead of me.

If I never met you, I wouldn’t know what it feels like to smile and be supportive of your relationship while wishing it was me laying next to you in bed instead of her.

If I never met you, I wouldn’t know what it feels like to drink an entire bottle of wine, cry myself to sleep hoping that when I wake up you’re right next to me telling me you love me.

If I never met you, I wouldn’t know how the word “best friend” can sound so beautiful but so painful at the same time. It’s a word that puts me in a special place in your world but not the special place I wish to have.

But If I never met you…

Then I wouldn’t know what it’s like to have someone that I can talk to for hours about myriad subjects and not get bored.

Then I wouldn’t know what it’s like to travel with someone so easily and comfortably, without worries or arguments.

Then I wouldn’t know what it’s like to know someone like the back of my hand and anticipate this person’s thoughts and needs without saying a word.

Then I wouldn’t know what it’s like to smile at the mere sight of someone’s name on cellphone screen.

Then I wouldn’t know what it’s like to love someone so fully and unconditionally even through the constant pain and hidden tears.

Every time I am with you, it’s bittersweet because I know that I have a piece of your heart, being your best friend. But I don’t know how long I can stay content having just a piece of you when I want all of you…

Every single inch of you, from your interesting side-swept hairstyle, to your cute little eyes that crinkle up when you smile to your throaty laugh that reverberates through the entire space around me, surrounding me with warmth.

I want to hear the way you said “hey…..” in a trailing, sexy voice when you answer my phone call except I want to hear that at night too right before we go to sleep as you cuddle me next to you.

I want to feel your warm breath against my skin, your strong arms holding me tight and telling me how much you love me.

I want to feel the love that I know you are capable to give but not as your best friend but so much more.

I wish that we can be so much more… Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Jainie Left

Aspiring writer, adventurer and photography hobbyist. Filled with wanderlust and excited to embark on a new adventure.