A Letter To My Older Self

Don’t forget about me.

Don’t try and hide away my actions, because they cannot be denied, no matter how hard you try.

I did what I had to do in order to survive. Even in the mornings when I couldn’t get out of bed or the days I spent motionless and speechless. Those days were so very necessary, and they need to be forgiven. Those days made who you are today. So, cherish what you used to be, because you wouldn’t have made it out without me.

This is me. This is the darkest part of you, the self that knows your weaknesses better than anyone else. The self that took over and devastated you for years and years. The self that annihilated any glimmer of hope you tried so very hard to hold onto.

But I am not here to try and take over again. Rest assured, I have no more power over you. You’re in the clear. I am just here to say that I am happy for you. I am glad you got out. I always knew you would. I was a necessary moment in time. I made you stronger and I made your skin thicker. Because of me, your faith is now unshakeable. Thanks to me, your will is now unbreakable.

Take a second and appreciate what you have now. Acknowledge whatever it is that you’ve built. Stop overlooking the obstacles you’ve conquered and the distance you’ve reached. I remember you always used to do this. You always used to underestimate everything and made it seem like you just got lucky. But you didn’t. You were working hard and pushing, and you didn’t even know it.

Now, don’t frown. Don’t let your heart skip a beat. Don’t cry. You won’t ever be able to deny I ever existed. So why not embrace me? Why not thank your past? It’s the only way you’ll ever be able to go on with your future.