Read This If You Wish You Cared Less About Finding Love

1. There’s nothing wrong with wanting love.

First of all, you shouldn’t apologize for wanting to be loved. I don’t care how many people tell you that you should be happy being single and that there are more important things in the world than boys—even though all of that is true, it’s not as simple as that. Everyone wants to be loved, even if they don’t admit it. So never feel ashamed of wanting someone to hold.

2. What you really want might not involve love at all.

Think about what you’ve been craving. Is it attention? If it is, you can get that by adopting a puppy. Is it the sex? You can get that by buying a stronger vibrator. Love isn’t the only way for you to get the type of affection you need.

3. Love (from others) isn’t the answer.

I know it seems like finding someone to date during the day and snuggle with at night seems nice, but it won’t make all of your problems vanish. A boy isn’t magically going to make you change the way you see yourself. You’ll still have the same insecurities that you’ve always had. Unless you work on learning to love yourself, another person’s love isn’t going to change your life the way you’re hoping it will.

4. Relationships can be messier than single life is.

As much as it sucks to eat alone and masturbate, falling in love can be even worse. After all, there are women out there in relationships who are crying themselves to sleep every night. They’ve fallen in love, but they’re no better off than you are. Some say that “better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” is bullshit, so you might be one of the lucky ones.

5. Don’t believe the hype about relationships.

Movies are always going to paint a pretty picture of love. So is the music you hear on the radio. But for every sappy song, there’s a song about heartbreak. People complain about love just as often as they brag about it. You’ve just been focusing on the good stuff, because you want what you don’t have.

6. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Don’t bask in your own misery. You aren’t living some horrible life, just because you aren’t in love. Think of all of the other wonderful things you do have, like friends who can make you laugh, parents who would give anything for you, and a beautiful mind that’ll take you far. Your life isn’t as bad as you’re making it out to be.

7. You’ll eventually find what you’re looking for.

Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t stop yourself from caring about love. It’s okay. Looking for a serious relationship hasn’t been a waste of your time. You might not have found what you want yet, but one day you will. Don’t stop searching for it if it’s what you really want, because your hard work will pay off in the end.