Crissy Milazzo

You will forget to wear deodorant and spend the rest of the day operating with T-rex meets kangaroo arms.

Pork roll vs. Taylor Ham

“Every day waking up feels a little like when you walk into a room and forget why you went there in the first place. I’m halfway here.”

Like Marilyn Monroe said: “a wise girl leaves her margarita before the leaves fall.”

“You can have a bite.”

“I like my love with a budget, I like my hugs with a scent / You smell like, light, gas, water, electricity, rent”

If Kanye West were the sorting hat, would you be put in the Real Artist house? Or just Hufflepuff?

The above short is a prequel (Grand Budapest Hotel’s Tony Revolori and The Hunger Games’ Jack Quaid) of what could be.

Twin extra-long dormitory beds don’t make for great sex, but you will try anyway.

7. Pretty: Comely, Dreamy

13. Countertop sex (kitchen): Are You Gonna Eat That?

You learn how important it is to say “yes!” and “…um, no.”