5 Differences Between What You Tell Your Mom Vs. What You’re Really Thinking
What you tell your mom: “Can’t complain!” What you’re really thinking: “Do you have 20 minutes for me to complain?”
Moms are the best. Lying to them is the worst, but we all do it daily. Here are a few prime examples.
1. “How was your day?”
What you tell your mom: “good!”
What you’re really thinking: “I have $8 in my bank account and twenty-seven things to do but it would sound whiny to complain to you at this point — please offer me money. Please just offer.”
2. “How’s work?”
What you tell your mom: “Can’t complain!”
What you’re really thinking: “Do you have 20 minutes for me to complain?”
3. “Are you eating right, sweetheart?”
What you tell your mom: “Oh, you know. Taking my vitamins. Uh —”
What you’re really thinking: “PLEASE MOVE IN WITH ME FOR A COOL DAY AND MAKE ENOUGH FOOD FOR THE MONTH. I HAVEN’T EATEN ANYTHING BUT CARBS FOR SEVEN WEEKS.”
4. “Are you seeing anyone?”
What you tell your mom: “No one serious, ha, Mom come on. Anyway —”
What you’re really thinking: “I’ve downloaded, deleted, and re-downloaded Tinder 12 times. You can’t handle the truth.”
5. “How’s *insert named of estranged friend here*?”
What you tell your mom: “Oh, I don’t know actually! Haven’t heard from them in a while.”
What you’re really thinking: “Fuck if I know. Dead? Lol jk I’d never wish death on someone. Just like, fuck that bit— Mom? I’m sorry for the language, okay? Hello? Mom, — hello?”
