16. Guys who push your head down during oral. I am not a human FleshLight. I repeat, I am not a human FleshLight.

17. Guys who basically are just there to see how close they can get to abuse. Spanking, choking, scratching, and biting can all be fun. But they might not be fun if they’re really aggressive and scary and feel like an attempt at murder.

18. Guys who don’t get that use of the words naughty/cock/pussy are all context dependent. No one needs to hear the word “cock” more than two times in a given day, so please stop referring to it repeatedly during sex. There is a time and place for dirty talk. You’ll know it when you feel it. If you feel it all the time, then that is not it. Also, just never say “naughty.” You sound like Austin Powers.

19. When there is no noise making whatsoever. Honestly though, excessive dirty talk is better than nothing at all. Why are you so quiet?! Are you a strange sex-having monk? Are you one of the characters from The Leftovers? Speak! Moan! Hum! ANYTHING.

20. Trying to sneak in butt stuff. We get it. You want butt stuff. Just ask for it. Stop trying to get there via drunk maneuvers and “accidental” slips.