I Wish I Could Tell You How Much I Like You

I wish I could tell you how much I like you. I wish I am brave enough to tell you how much you make my heart jump whenever you’re around. If you only knew how much I wanted to hold your hand while we’re walking side by side. If I could only show you how I badly want to call you mine.

I’m not usually this type, you know. I’m normally quite confident in pursuing the women that I like. I can’t seem to figure out why it’s different with you. My friends even noticed that I seem to have gone back to being a novice in terms of love when I met you. I can’t blame them, really. I seem to overthink every single step I take on trying to win your heart. Every single message I send, every single word I say, every single date I plan. I hope you know how long I have to convince myself that I need to do these, to take the risk, or else nothing will ever happen. If I don’t do any of these, I will forever remain your friend.

These words may seem quite overwhelming. However, I would like to make it clear that I don’t want to rush you on jumping into a relationship with me. You know I am not in any rush. I prefer to take things slow. It’s only that, I’m scared. I’m scared to get stuck in the friend zone if I don’t confess my feelings for you any sooner. I know I should’ve confessed all these in person, but I’m afraid I’m not so good at speaking. Hence, I’m expressing all these in the way I know I do best. Writing. Hoping all the words I have assembled will do justice to describing everything I’ve been keeping inside.

I knew I like you since the first time I have laid my eyes on you. Your eyes. Your eyes behind those glasses. At first look, I already knew that someday, I want to see the person behind those lenses.

I want to explore what’s running inside your beautiful mind. I want to trace all the lines on the palm of your hands. I want to know your story. I want to learn how the entire universe conspired to help me find you.

Therefore, I tried my best to remain constant in your life. I seem to have forgotten how to court women, so I tried the few tricks that I can still remember. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve been messaging you for at least once a day or every other day just to check you out for the past two months. I’m sorry if I seem annoying at times. I’m just genuinely interested in knowing how your day went. So I can cheer you up if you’re having a bad one. So I can motivate you to wake up the next day with a smile. Your smile. I love seeing that whenever I bring you food. I may not be the best chef in town, but my heart secretly melts whenever I know how you enjoy every single bite. I know I would do anything just to wake up to that smile. I know I would do everything to cook for that beautiful girl, waiting patiently, in our own little kitchen, every day, until we’re old and frail.

I’m sorry if I am not yet brave enough to tell you all these upfront. I’m scared to be rejected. I’m scared to lose you, even if you’re not mine. I don’t know if I stand a chance. I would like to think that I have. The fact that you’re still hanging out with me seems promising, right? If you’re out there reading this, please be rest assured that I am not expecting any answers in an instant. I still want to get to know you better. I still want these feelings to develop and flourish into something deeper.

I still want you to see the person behind these romantic words that I have carefully assembled to help me win your heart.

I wish I could tell you how much I like you.

Now that I already have, could you please give me a chance to make you feel my love?