19 Cool Dick Accessories
It looks like regular lipstick but it's shaped like a penis. It's funny because you put it on your mouth.
1. Willy Warmer
For the man in your life with a cold penis here is a specialty knit product designed to keep his manhood snuggly. Comes in “hunter red” color so you know it’s masculine. “It’s a heater for your Peter!”
2. Peni-Colada Jello Shot Syringes
Keep your dick company with 15 plastic dicks filled with alcohol! It’s a party outside your pants!
3. How to Live with a Huge Penis
If you truly care about your dick, you’d want this book to place nonchalantly on your coffee table so that people in your life are aware of your monster schlong.
4. Penis toaster
This toaster looks like any other toaster but burns an image of a penis into your toast. Serve it to your friends or that special lady in your life. Pro tip: women love it when you have cookware like this, extra points if you get creative with the placing of butter on the toast.
5. Cock freshener
Ever get that “not so fresh” feeling? Here’s a product the penis owner on the go.
6. Foamy alien doll?
I think this is a toy you stick your dick inside.
7. Dick Plumper Extreme
My biggest complain about this product is that its name is not stylized as “XXXtreme.”
8. Fake Nutz
The ad boasts “great vein structure” so these seem like premium fake balls. Possible uses: putting outside your pants and then zipping it up and running out of the bathroom in order to convince your friend you zipped your penis off.
9. The dick towel
It’s Always Sunny fans and ex fraternity guys alike will love this towel that makes it look like you are naked and have a huge schlong.
10. Cock extender
If your penis is small, you can apparently wear a dildo tip during intercourse. Sexy.
11. Ultimate cock cage
I’m scared, actually.
12. Penis, A Collection of Essays
A Thought Catalog book for people with dicks and people interested in people with dicks.
13. Brass balls
The perfect gift to give your girlfriend on a very special occasion. Present on bended knee in a small box. She’ll think you are proposing and it will be HILLARIOUS.
14. Penis weights
Suddenly your gym seems ill equipped for the type of exercises that really matter.
15. Utilitarian penis costume
The penis part of this costume unzips so you can store two cans of beer in there. I suggest a Bud Light Lime for you and a Cranberita for your lady.
16. Men’s penis sheath
I googled “what is a penis sheath” after reading the extremely unhelpful product description and apparently a penis sheath is another way of saying foreskin so I’m not sure what this cloth accessory is for. I think it’s for guys who have a giant bulge and are trying to be modest.
17. 4D-Vision Male Reproductive Anatomy Model
Okay, this is in all sincerity really cool. Imagine being at the bar wooing girls to come home with the promise of showing them your 4-d penis model. Seems slick.
18. Penis Enlargement Hypnosis
It’s only $0.99, what could possibly go wrong?
19. Dick lipstick
It looks like regular lipstick but it’s shaped like a penis. It’s funny because you put it on your mouth. 
