Am I Crazy For Wanting To Try Again?

Am I? Am I crazy for wanting to make this work? To at least try to make this work.

Don’t we both deserve to see if this could work out this time? At one time we thought it could work, but it didn’t. Does that mean it won’t ever work? Or just that it wasn’t the right time?

I think we agree, we were happy, we just were toxic for each other at that time. We were both trying to find happiness in each other but didn’t have happiness in ourselves to begin with.

I don’t disagree that we were not in the right place before, but I also don’t think it would be fair to throw the future away when we were so happy together.

Here we are again, staring down the barrel of the gun, neither know if we should make a move or not because we are scared the gun may go off. What if it doesn’t though?

There are so many things that were left unsaid, so many things I want to say to you. Not a day has gone by that you have not been on my mind, and I don’t know if it goes the same for you, but I also don’t know if I can keep pretending that we never happened.

I have put a smile on my face and created this mindset to be optimistic for the future, but in reality, I have waited every single day for a call, or a text asking to talk.

I didn’t think you still meant all that much to me, but when I saw that picture of you and that smile, everything rushed back over me. I felt you in my arms in the back of your car that night. It was like nothing ever changed.

Am I crazy for wanting to text you? Am I crazy for wanting to hear your voice, to see your smile, to look in your eyes one more time?

Am I crazy for not moving on? For having hope?