To The Boy Who Thought I Wasn’t Good Enough

First off, yes I was good enough, you just couldn’t or wouldn’t take the time to see that. I was there for you when everything inside me was telling me to walk away. Maybe it was stupid on my part for hanging around waiting for you to figure out what you wanted. But, how can a girl not think things will get better when you tell her what she wants to hear? You always knew how to pull me right back in and keep me around, and I let myself ride this rollercoaster over and over again.

Look, I’m not trying to sit here and having a bashing session at your expense but, most of the time I really don’t think you understand how much you hurt me. You act like you’re shocked at the fact that I liked you. Um, did you really not know that when we were dating?! I’m not sure if I should be apologizing for the fact that I’m a regular human being and when I hang out with someone a lot feelings tend to grow. Or if I should be shocked at how stupid you are for not realizing it.

Did you forget all the times you said “I really like you.” And, then I would respond with, “I really like you too.” Was I the only one who heard that? Or were you too busy thinking about the other girl you took on a date while we were still talking? Yes! This happened and it brings me to whole reason for writing this.

You can continue to tell me that it was nothing. That you felt like we were drifting apart and that’s why you started to talk to someone else but, all I hear is “Sorry, I chose someone over you because you weren’t good enough to keep around!” And, as for the drifting apart thing… it was your fault! I was the one making an effort to try to keep us going. I was the one who came over after being exhausted after work. How many times can you say that? I’ll answer for you, none!

I’m sure everyone else wondered why I stayed, why I gave you so many chances, and to be honest I’m still trying to figure that out myself. Maybe its because you came into my life when I really needed someone to be there, and you were at first. It felt nice to have someone who could make you feel so safe and so happy all at the same time. But, then you changed, you did a 180 on me. I think I was holding on to the idea that it might go back to the way it was when we first met, so I kept making excuses for why you acting so differently now.

I’ll be honest it was hard for me to let you go, even though you were able to make walking away look so easy. And, even after everything there is a small part of me that is still holding out for you to be the person I fell for. I know one day you will realize what a mistake you made and I wont be around anymore for you to lean on. I know one day you are going to miss me like crazy and wish I was laying beside you at night. When that day comes I hope you realize that you were the one who pushed me out of your life. You were the one who couldn’t decide what you wanted. You were the one who chose someone else, and you’ll be the one who will realize that I was good enough.