To My Forever Friend: This Is My Lifelong Vow To You

“If you live to be 100, I hope to live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.” — Winnie the Pooh

Leave it to a bear in a crop top to give us the most accurate summary of friendship.

A future that doesn’t include you isn’t a future I want to imagine. A day where you aren’t a phone call away is a nightmare. A life where I can’t share memories with you isn’t worth exploring.

If we’re being honest, the thought of you leaving me brings about a sudden minor panic attack.

I owe you a lifetime of thank you’s.

Thank you for always answering the phone no matter what.

Thank you for continuing to listen and reassure me when it’s necessary to whip me into shape.

You’re the peanut butter to my jelly and the yin to my yang.

When you find someone to spend the rest of your life with, make special vows to that person. Vows that you respect, honor, and hold dearly.

I mean, since you’re stuck with me for the rest of forever, I guess it’s safe to make those same promises to my bestie.

I promise to be there for you whenever you need me, and even when you think you don’t need me. Because you always need me.

I know there will be times that you’ll need to go out and explore life and do things alone, but I will always be a few steps behind to catch you if you fall or to relish in all that you’ve achieved.

I’m a better person because I have you in my life.

Distance is just an eight letter word. Yes, when we are separated a part of me feels missing, but I’m never really alone because I know you’re always there, whether encouraging me or being that silent annoying voice of reason.

I promise to be the first person to pick you up if you ever find rock bottom. I promise to never judge you and to listen with an open mind and heart.

I promise to let you ugly cry whenever needed. You know, the type of crying that leaves you red and blotchy and sniffly and sometimes causes hiccups.

I’ll find you a tissue, blanket, towel, or even my sleeve if necessary. I would never leave you looking like that.

I’d do this for you in a heartbeat.

Why? Cause you’d never hesitate to do it for me.

I am not a girl who cries pretty, yet you don’t pretend that you don’t know me each time it happens.

If you start to fall down, I will help build you back up.

On the days that you have spent hours staring in the mirror, I will be the first to whistle, clap, and make sure the world knows how hot you are.

If we’re being honest, I think you are beautiful all the time, even when you’re rocking those pajama pants and an oversized sweatshirt. Being a girl, I know how important it is to help build each other’s confidence.

When you’re standing on a ledge, I promise to talk you off. Your middle name should probably be over-thinker, but that’s okay, because luckily mine should probably be the logical one.

When you’ve jumped board the crazy train, I will make sure they don’t stamp your ticket.

On the days that I don’t feel like being around people, I will do it if it is what you need. When you ramble about all the things that excite you, I promise to look at least a tad bit interested, even if I don’t understand, because it’s important to you.

You better believe that when it comes to boys that take an interest in you, I’m going to give you my full opinion. It may not be what you want to hear, but I only want what is best for you.

I want them to squirm a little when they think they have to get my approval. I mean, little do they know all I want is for you to be happy and to be treated with respect and that I’d cave if i knew they could be your one. Though he should know that if he is the cause of even just one tear, I will act on all previous threats given to him — just not the “bury a body” part, because we know orange isn’t my color and I can’t help you in jail, but you get the gist.

If he ends up not being the right one, I’ll bring the ice cream, chick flicks, and open arms, though I won’t let you stay there forever because at some point you have to flip that hourglass over and try again. It’ll be scary, but you won’t be alone.

When a Friday night has turned into one too many shots, I’ll provide the Advil, greasy burger, and a hair tie. I’m not holding your hair back because you know we’ll both puke, but I’ll be around the corner.

If you need to forget you sent that text you shouldn’t have or the man you hit on at 2 a.m., I promise to make fun of you for 10 minutes and then let it go.

When that day comes that you find the guy who is head over heels for you, I promise to not allow you to become bridezilla and help you plan your perfect day. Let me be the bad cop, so that way you always look like an angel.

I also promise to have a speech that will go down as one of the best in the books. Oh, don’t you worry your pretty little head right there. Do I apologize now or after?

If we’re being honest, I will tell you when you are being a pain in the ass, overdramatic, stubborn, or moody, even if you are going to get angry about it. You may get mad for a little bit, but you won’t stay there forever, because deep down you know I’m right. For good measure, I may throw you a snickers or something.

You see, we’re so close that I am not afraid of not lying to you. I’m not afraid to tell you something others shy away from, because it strengthens us.

I’m your ride or die. So when there is something embarrassing or something others may think is dumb, just call me. You’re not going to do anything to make a never ending mark on my reputation, so I will make sure to do the same for you.

When life is rocky, when you’re in a pinch, and you don’t know what to do, call me.

We’re not just friends, we’re family.

In fact, we’re our own little gang. So watch out, world.

I want you to know that whatever happens in your life, you will never be alone.

You’re stuck with me.

You can always count on me no matter what fork we come across in the road — though I am directionally challenged, so it may take us a little longer to sort through it.

I’ll always love you.

Past, present, future you will always have a hand to hold. Thank you for always being my main squeeze, my emergency contact, and my best friend.

If ever there is a day that you start to question how much your friendship means to me, girl, you better snap back to reality. We can’t get on the crazy train again — you know what happens.

So to quote my favorite witches: “Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better but because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” — Wicked