You Were Never Mine To Love

You were never mine, but, oh, how I wish you had been.

I knew, deep down, that nothing would ever happen, but I let myself get lost in you as if you mine to get lost in. I watched you carefully, observing the way you live your life, the way you laugh at everything, the way you care for others and I lost myself in your kindness.

When I looked into your eyes I saw meaning and life and you were exactly what my life lacked, what my life needed. You made me happy and you made me laugh when I was down and there was nothing that could have kept me from falling in love with you.

Your blue eyes did things to my body that I had never experienced. When we made eye contact, my heart skipped beats, when you laughed my body warmed, you gave me something to look forward to and I did everything I told myself not to do.

I fell in love with you. I completely fell in an uncontrollable spiral into your arms and I knew that it wouldn’t end well.

That’s the thing about falling in love with someone you know won’t love you back. You choose to fall anyways even though you know you’ll end up hurt. Even though you were never mine to have and to hold, loving you was worth any pain I could ever feel.

Falling in love with you was worth all the torture of having you so close, but so far away.

I loved you because you were genuine and kind-hearted and I adored that more than anything. Loving you hurt in the most beautiful way.

Now, looking into your eyes hurts because it reminds me of everything I never had. It reminds me of my need to have your love and feeling so close to it even though I was miles away from it.