You’re so bored. It’s six p.m. and there is nothing good on T.V. so you want to have sex with someone. Depending on your situation, you will either have to seek it out like a hunter.  You will go to the bars and zero in on your prey, or you will have sex with someone…

Thanks to the internet, there are a myriad of different ways you can miss your ex. You can go on Facebook and lurk their life without you. Oh look, there’s a picture of them at a party looking completely normal and happy. And oh my god, they’re writing cute and clever things on someone else’s…

After college, you’re thrusted into the real world to Find A Job and Be Self Sufficient, and in turn, you become aware that the people in this world think binge drinking after college actually = alcoholism and a potential sign that one doesn’t have her shit together.

Bitches always think they’re so funny. Whenever they say something that was kind of screwed up, they’ll quickly be like, “That wasn’t bitchy. I was just making a joke!” Well, guess what? Your joke wasn’t funny. It was just bitchy, and bitchy does not always translate to hilarity!

You’re eating a Subway sandwich with your friend when all of a sudden, you want to have sex with someone. You try to avoid it by focusing intently on your sandwich. Yummy. Pickles, turkey, lettuce, naked flesh, private parts, mustard. Darn it! You’re looking at chipotle mayo and getting aroused. Why must life be so…

I can’t say it has been easy learning to live without you. Heading into year three, I can say I have started to make real progress. I can talk about your death without crying. I can look people in the eye and tell them how you died. And now I finally feel like I can…