30 Cold Hard Truths About Why You Suck At First Dates

If they insist I drink, or suggest drinks/shots after I've declined multiple times, I'll either think you have a problem, or you're trying to get me drunk. Both of which I don't want.

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If your first dates never end well, you could be guilty of these deal breakers from Ask Reddit.

1. If they are hard to talk to. Might not make them a bad person, but obviously there is no chemistry if all I get are one word answers where they also don’t reciprocate questions.

2. Self-deprecating to the point where everything needs to be somehow connected in a negative way back to yourself. Like literally everything. While chatting it’s even more obvious, sad faces all the time, “I’m dumb,” “I don’t deserve what I’ve achieved,” etc.

3. On their phone the whole time. If you can’t disconnect for an hour or so to engage with me then it’s not going to work.

4. No opinions on anything. If I’m going to date someone, I want some sort of brains or passion going on up there….

5. Their drinking manners. If they insist I drink, or suggest drinks/shots after I’ve declined multiple times, I’ll either think you have a problem, or you’re trying to get me drunk. Both of which I don’t want.

6. Too much discussion about money.

7. Repeatedly interrupting me when I’m talking, especially when I’m answering a question they asked. It tells me they’re not actually engaged in what I’m saying.

8. Lying. Even, if not especially, about small things.

9. Being way too touchy.

10. They spend the conversation giving me unsolicited advice about how to live my life.

11. My red flag is when she says she goes to bars and clubs. And thinks that’s a hobby. I nope the fuck out.

12. I will not text you back if you txt lik dis.

13. Snobs about interests. I understand you might love 1950s jazz deep cuts, but that doesn’t make me an idiot because I like Jennifer Lopez.

14. Someone who doesn’t ask about me. It shows that they don’t actually care.

15. Complimenting me by trashing my entire gender. “You really know your shit, I’ve never met a female who knew so much about politics.” Yeah Bud, you sure have you just didn’t listen.

16. Bragging. Even worse if it’s over the smallest things. A guy I was interested in kept texting me these (fake) brags about things that don’t even matter e.g having a pet lizard that he brought home from his holidays??

17. When they try to constantly turn the conversation back to sex.

18. Dirty clothes. Not showered. Dirty car. Bad tipper.

19. Being a know it all. I had lunch with someone who called the table salt “sodium chloride” and used the bread as a way to tell me everything he knew about complex carbohydrates (some of which wasn’t even correct) and their connections to evolutionary theory. Just felt like he was compensating for something.

20. Constantly talking about their exes.

21. Lying about their appearance. You see their pictures, they look nice, and then they are different in person. What’s the point?

22. Seems constantly annoyed or angry over little things.

23. Disrespectful to service workers (waitstaff, janitors, etc…).

24. Poor personal hygiene, or any other lack of basic self-respect.

25. Fake laughs.

26. If you smack your lips, or chew with your mouth open it’s game over. Not sure I could even make it to the end of dinner.

27. Getting so drunk on the first date that you can’t figure out Uber and I have to drive you home. No, you can’t stay on my couch, I don’t know you.

28. If a person tells you they are IN LOVE WITH YOU after one day together.

29. They only want to talk about themselves.

30. The amount of guys who think negging is a good flirting technique is ridiculous. Contrary to what you read on WikiHow, insulting a girl doesn’t make her want to impress you, it just makes her realize you’re a dick. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

January Nelson

January Nelson

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.