25 Gross Habits That Make People Think Twice About Hooking Up With You

“He has massive, nuclear BO. He smells like a hoagie—like a barfy mix of onions and salami and cheese and hot-pepper juice. He’s absolutely stunning to look at, but I often wind up wishing I was born without a nose.”

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Girl eating spaghetti in a gross way
Elena Montemurro

1.

“My boyfriend doesn’t wash his ass. You’re supposed to wash your ass, right? They teach that in first grade, right? Reading, writing, arithmetic, and washing your ass. He didn’t get the ‘wash your ass’ memo. And more than once, the stench from his rotten hole has absolutely ruined lovemaking for me. It’s to the point where every time I think of having sex with him, my nostrils recoil involuntarily. Help!”

—Valerie, 29

beetlejuice

2.

“His feet stink so bad, I can sometimes, no kidding, smell them from across the room. It’s hard to describe foot odor—it’s like rotten cheese mixed with rancid lemons, all of it being eaten by squirming maggots. I know that’s graphic, but Jesus Christ, his feet could kill an army. He’s so fucking hot, but the feet just kill it for me. I tried mentioning it and he got super-defensive.”

—Mona, 24

beetlejuice


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