Losing You Helped Me Figure Out Who I Want To Be

Losing you was one of the most painful things I think I’ll ever endure. I had never felt so alone before. I never knew that loving you could feel so horrible.

I remember feeling lost as to who I was, what I was doing, and where I went from that moment on. It took nights and days and crying and screaming to realize that the person I was with you was never me. I was someone who bent over and gave up who I was to please you and even then, I was still never good enough.

I had molded myself to all your needs and I was so worried about what you wanted that I never even realized that I had lost who I was and I think, maybe, that’s why I felt like the world had consumed and spit me up when you left because I was empty.

All of my future plans and hopes and dreams revolved around you, the man who had broken my heart and never looked back, and I resented myself for allowing you to do that. Now, I’ve learned that you no longer matter to me. You’re nothing more than a lesson I hope my daughter will learn from me. You’re nothing more than a small bump in the road for me.

It took you breaking my heart and making me feel incredible pain to realize that I needed to find and figure out who I was and realize that the pain you made me feel was only temporary, but who I was would determine my entire life.

It took me feeling the loneliest I had ever felt in a world filled with people to realize that I would never feel content unless I took the time to find myself. All I can say now is that I’m thankful and if I ran into you tomorrow, I would thank you for opening my eyes and helping me realize that I wasn’t a person with ideas and thoughts. I was a person who lived to please the one she loved and fuck being that girl because she will never be happy.

Thank you for breaking my heart because at least now I know who I am.