Things To Do When You Realize They Are Never Coming Back

I cannot remember my age

But I remember the feeling on that day

My Dad drove my sister and me to a local store

And told us to choose a pack of stickers

My sister chose a dolphin set and I chose a set with horses

Mine was the kind of stickers that felt like fur

It was then that we were told that one of our loved ones was never going to come back

This was my first real memory of loss

Unfortunately not my last

As we get older the more likely it is

That we will lose someone that we love

Losses that can come in many forms

Grief that stickers cannot fix

Losing someone that you love is incredibly hard

Letting go can be even harder

We all have the things that we cannot part with

Sometimes in forms of objects

Concert tickets, birthday cards, photos

Boxes full of sentiments

We cannot seem to empty

Then there are the memories that we carry within us

At times they can feel so heavy

How can we move forward somewhat lighter?

I have had my fair share of goodbyes

Stages of longing and grieving

There is no perfect solution

Or a set of rules to follow

In my experience, I have found it helpful to

Identify with the pain that you are feeling

When you connect to what it is that you are missing

You can often see more clearly

Is it something that you miss about them?

Is it a way they made you feel?

Sometimes, in situations of a broken heart

It is the way that they made us feel that we truly miss

Connect to your pain

Acknowledge that the past cannot be changed

That nothing in life is constant

But that some things can be changed

You can change your mind

It may take time but in the end

It can really help

To feel lucky to have experienced something

Rather than to feel lost that it is no longer

Be grateful for the things that you do have

It is so easy to feel alone after someone you love has gone

Focus on the people that you do have around you

Spend time with your loved ones

Create new memories

Accepting that old memories cannot be replaced

But that new ones can be formed

Do not compare anyone else’s experience to your own

Every individual’s life encounters are different

Listen

To your favorite songs and podcasts

To advice from those around you

Listen to people when they tell you that they are there

Do not be afraid to reach out when you need it

Trust that you can handle this and that you will get through it

Be kind to yourself

Thank yourself for having the ability to feel

Allow Yourself to love again

Let the experience that you have had

Be the soil to your soul

Let yourself grow.