This Is How You’ll Ruin Your Life (In 5 Words), Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

Binge-eating until you explode.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

Bottomless pit of self-pity.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

A string of lousy decisions.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Endlessly dwelling on the past.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Not making a single plan.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

An orgy of self-sabotage.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Stubbornly avoiding the main issue.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Stabbing yourself in the back.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Burning every bridge ever built.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

Waiting until it’s too late.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Holding onto every grudge ever.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

Forgetting to thank your friends.