I Will Never Forget Our Energy

I believe in positivity. I believe in vibrations. I believe in the natural connection between humans. I believe that souls are drawn together by something emotional, chemical, spiritual. I believe that the space between two people is filled with energy, and when two souls are aligned, those energies feed off one another and set a spark.

I believe we are drawn to people unexplainably—we feel connected even before speaking, before shaking hands, before any intimate contact. I believe there’s something in the air that pulls people together, that allows our frequencies to align, that makes us experience something incredible, a connection that cannot be defined, but simply felt.

I believe that sometimes we meet people and our souls match on the deepest levels, not because we are romantically involved or because we pour our hearts out to one another, not because we’ve known the other person for a long time or have a past history, not because we have gone through similar experiences or have related perspectives and ideas.

But simply because our energies aligned in the moment we met. Simply because our souls felt something when we smiled in one another’s direction.

And that’s how it was with you.

Nothing big, nothing dramatic, nothing even close to the clichéd ‘love at first sight.’ We just looked at each other and felt connected somehow. We smiled in one another’s direction and I felt lighter.

Talking to you was easy, effortless. It was as if we’d known one another for months, years even. I was comfortable letting you know personal details about my life; you listened with no judgement. We fell into conversation, into laughter, into a friendship mixed with platonic love that came so naturally it was as if we’d meant to cross paths.

I found myself wanting to be in your presence all the time; my body and soul felt more alive when I was around you.

I wasn’t in love with you. It wasn’t ever about love. But it was something spiritual. When I talked to you, my soul felt at ease, my heart felt less heavy, my eyes were awake and sparkling and the energy I gave off was always positive. I couldn’t be mad at you. I couldn’t feel down or discouraged. Every ache seemed to fade when you spoke to me.

Every little empty part of me was filled in you.

And that was so damn beautiful.

I truly believe that sometimes we meet people who strengthen us with their simple presence. Sometimes we meet people whose hearts overflow ours unconsciously. Sometimes it’s not about love or romantic passion, but about energy—how two people can feel completely safe and healed in a connection to someone else. How the space between two individuals is suddenly covered and coated with nothing but happiness and belonging and trust.

I will never forget our energy. I will never forget how we bumped into one another, and suddenly you became such a necessary part of my life. I will never forget how my fingers tingled, my heart beat faster, my whole body buzzed when we laughed.

I will never forget how you made me feel alive.

They say you meet people for a reason, and I’m still trying to understand what role you play(ed) in my life. You didn’t become my greatest love or my biggest lesson, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around that. I’m still trying to figure out who you are and what you mean, how I could feel so many unexplainable emotions with you, yet our hearts not be permanently tied.

You were someone I met by accident, a soul I learned to love simply because we were changed from the moment we met.

I am thankful for the lessons you taught me, the ways you showed me how big and beautiful a connection could be, even if we never became more than friends.

I’m thankful that our paths crossed, that you were able to teach me how to love myself and another person, how not to be scared of the possibility, how to let go and let someone in.

I’m thankful for the connection we had, for the time we shared, for the ways we grew up, both together and independently.

And I’m not sure where our story will lead, or if it’s already ended. I’m not sure if you’re writing yourself into a chapter of your own, or if you will one day be a returning character in my plotline, making an appearance pages down the road.

I’m not sure when I’ll read the words that explain who you were, who we were, and if we were meant to become anything more. I think for now I’ll just trust that our books are being written in every moment, and the lessons will unfold in due time.

For now, I’ll wish you the best in whatever narrative you’ve found yourself in. But know that I’ll never forget our energy, and the way we made one another believe in something more.

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.