Why It’s So Hard To Win You Over, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type
INFP:
When it comes to relationships, you either go big or you go home – and you’re totally comfortable going home. You’re a romantic at heart and you have no interest in lukewarm love. You want passion, romance and fireworks (even if you loathe to admit it). It’s hard to win you over because you’re looking for someone who is every bit as passionate as you are – and we both know that’s a pretty high bar.
ENFP:
You have a lot of great, big plans for your future and getting sidetracked by a mediocre relationship isn’t one of them. You’re constantly changing jobs, relationships, countries, career paths and ideologies. You need someone who can not only keep up, but add something new to the mix. And let’s be serious – they’re going to have to chase you a little bit. Because you don’t stay in one place for long.
INFJ:
You need a partner who you can see a future with – and before you get ready to plan that future, you need to be certain you’re with someone you can trust. To win you over, any potential partner has to stand the test of time. You want to make sure you know each other inside-out, upside-down and backwards before you’re ready to take a chance on them. And building that kind of trust takes time. If not a little perseverance on their part.
ENFJ:
You don’t know how to love halfway, and you aren’t interested in being with anyone who does. You fall in love openly and deeply, and you know the ins and outs of how to make a committed relationship work. It’s hard to win you over because you want to be with someone who will be as attentive and committed to the relationship as you are – and we both know that’s a pretty high bar.
INTP:
It’s not that you lack emotions, it’s just that you aren’t always completely tuned in to the emotions of others. You often aren’t sure when someone’s flirting versus when they’re just being friendly and you need someone who isn’t afraid to be upfront with you about the way they’re feeling. The problem is, most people prefer more subtle tactics. As such, you can be hard to win over – because you need someone who isn’t afraid to pursue you boldly, directly and persistently.
ENTP:
It’s not that you’re uninterested in relationships – it’s just that you’re very, very interested in pretty much everything else. In order to win you over, any potential partner has to be able to hold your attention for long enough to make you forget about the five thousand other things you were planning on pursuing. If they manage to do so, you’re theirs. But we all know that’s a whole lot easier said than done.
INTJ:
You have impeccably high standards – and you have no qualms admitting it. You’ve poured a great deal of effort into self-improvement and developing self-awareness and you expect nothing less from a potential partner. You’re hard to win over because at the end of the day, you’re searching for something pretty damn close to perfection. And perfection can be difficult to come by.
ENTJ:
When you’re invested in a relationship, you’re invested. But before that point, you have a tendency to let other things take priority. Your to-do list is a couple miles long, and ‘falling in love’ doesn’t happen to be right at the top of it. You’re hard to win over because whoever is interested in you has to first show that they should take precedence over the ten thousand other things you’ve been planning to do – and few people have managed to do that so far.
ISTP:
You need independence like a fish needs water. While you may be happy to have casual relationships, you get squirmy when it’s time to commit. You need to make sure you’re with someone who understands your need for alone time, and who isn’t going to try to change you. It may take you a very long time to make an actual commitment to someone – and whoever you’re dating needs to be willing to stick around for that length of time.
ESTP:
You enjoy relationships – but you also enjoy adventure, independence and having the freedom to live as you please. Before settling down, you need to make sure your options are explored and there’s nothing (or no one) else you’d rather be doing. You can be tough to win over because your enthusiasm for life often exceeds your enthusiasm for love.
ESTJ:
You’re not just looking for someone whose company you enjoy – you’re looking for someone who fits sensibly into your life long-term. You want to make sure that whomever you’re dating is worth investing your time, energy and effort into. You can be hard to win over because you evaluate potential relationships with your head before you turn things over to your heart.
ISTJ:
You aren’t just looking for someone who you enjoy spending time with – you need someone whose values and long-term interests line up with yours. Before you invest your heart, you need to know that you’re with someone you can respect and trust. In order to win you over, any potential partner has to be willing to put in the time to get to know each other before you reveal your romantic side.
ESFJ:
You have no patience for flakey or half-hearted relationships. You’re looking for something real, and you need someone who isn’t afraid to step up to the plate. You’re hard to win over because you take an ‘old-fashioned’ approach to dating – that is, you expect people to text back in a timely manner, go out on actual dates and make their affections known to you. Sadly, this is getting harder and harder to come by.
ISFJ:
Once you enter into a relationship, you’re all in – which means you need to be careful about where you invest your heart. You need to make sure that you’re dating someone you could see yourself with long-term – and that means you have to be with someone who isn’t going to take advantage of your huge heart, like others have in the past.
ESFP:
You live in a world of people possibilities. There’s nothing you enjoy more than dating and getting to know new people – which means that to settle down with just one of them, it has to be someone pretty special. You’re hard to win over because any potential partner has to first convince you that they’re better than all possible alternatives. And in a world of 7+ billion, there are a LOT of alternatives.
ISFP:
You’re a romantic down to your very core – but you also scare easily when it comes to long-term relationships. You believe that everything happens for a reason, and you need to feel as though your partner is the person you’re meant to be with, before you’re able to fully commit to them. Which means you often have to do some soul-searching at the beginning of a relationship – and your partner has to be willing to wait that out in order to win you over. 
