This Is My Final Goodbye To You

We all talk about girls. About how they have to adjust, how they get hurt, how they cry, about their heartaches and their distress. What about the boys? Have you ever wondered how they feel?

Just because they don’t show a lot of things, doesn’t mean that they don’t feel. Just as not every girl is perfect, neither is every boy. They are humans too and they feel just as much as we do.

Maybe not for one person, but definitely for someone else. I’ve been lucky enough to meet boys who feel so much, but you know the worst part, is that no matter how much you try, someone ends up getting hurt. The fact is, like they say, that you cannot please everyone.

Heaven knows how much I wish I could change it.

It wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I let him in, inside my mess. I wanted to experiment and took him as my prop. How cruel could anyone be to take away a part of someone else’s life for their selfish purposes!

We weren’t anywhere in each other’s lives, just little dark corners.

We were each other’s hide outs. I was his and he was mine. It felt good in the moment until I realized that it was wrong. Being happy was wrong. Thinking about one’s own self, it was wrong. He was a person who could shine without lights, he was a person with not a care in  the world, and he was a person who walked bare feet on the sand in moonlight.

If she carried the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings, then he was the one who mended those wings for her. His efforts will always be unseen and forsaken, his eyes should repel tears, he must stand strong in the toughest of storms – if society has set standards for girls, it’s done it for boys too. I am not very pro about this, but when we think of her, we must also think of him for he is who completes her. He is the yin to her yang. He’s been through hell and back, taught himself to detach from everything and live above it all. He loves himself, and I hate that I almost broke him again.

Going through his pictures, I see him smile. I envy so much all the people he ever loved and the ones who loved him back.

In another time, he could’ve been my perfection or my forever. If only I wasn’t so tangled, if only everything was as simple as it seems, if only we’d met in any other way on any other day, maybe we would’ve had our share of time and space.

I am always going to remember how I sat in the back of the class and saw you for the first time, I will always remember how out of all the phone numbers I picked yours because you were cute, I will remember our first talk and I will remember the one walk I ever had with you under the setting sun on a December evening.

I’m so glad I met you, and I suppose you hate me back with same intensity, but it’s fine.

After all that I’ve done, the least I deserve is this from you. Goodbye.