Relationship Advice People Have Given Me And What I Think It Really Means
People don't always mean what they say when they give you relationship advice, and sometimes their words can be as transparent as a piece of paper wrapped around a leg of fried chicken (mmmmm, chicken...). Here is my take on some of the advice I've been given by the people around me.
By 
Kat George
People don’t always mean what they say when they give you relationship advice, and sometimes their words can be as transparent as a piece of paper wrapped around a leg of fried chicken (mmmmm, chicken…). Here is my take on some of the advice I’ve been given by the people around me.
Mum
What she says: “It’s time for you to settle down and have a family.”
What she means: “I want to be a grandma. This has nothing to do with you or what you’re ready for, and it certainly doesn’t matter that you’re still single, I’m ready to be a grandma and that’s all that counts. Don’t you care about me, your own mother?”
Dad
What he says: “You’re still young, wait until you find the perfect man before you settle down.”
What he means: “If you end up with anyone who treats you badly, I’m going to make sure he lives to regret it, OK? I mean, this guy better be the balls or I’m going to crack some skulls. You deserve the best and you MUST BE HAPPY, just sayin’.”
Brothers
What they say: “You can’t go out with anyone unless we like him or he has a PlayStation.”
What they mean: “We’re never going to think anyone is good enough for you, but we’re willing to compromise if he lets us use his PlayStation.”
Grandma
What she says: “Be careful because lots of men just want to put their thing in your little birdie.”
What she really means: “All men are sex maniacs.”
Female friend
What she says: “He’s just not that into you.”
What she means: “I can’t believe I took all that advice from Sex & The City and I’m still single. Bitch, you think you’ve got problems…”
Male friend
What he says: “Just chill out.”
What he means: “Bitches be crazy. No wonder you don’t have a boyfriend.”
Doctor
What he says: “Always use protection.”
What he means: “Always use protection, moron.”
Beyonce
What she says: “You don’t need a man!”
What she means: “You do need a man. Haha I got Jay-Z, what have you got?” 
