Fuck You For Acting Like You Didn’t Do Anything Wrong

Don’t act like you’re innocent when you’re the reason why I’ve been alternating between punching my pillows and crying into them. Step up and admit that you were wrong. It’s the least you could do after everything you put me through.

I’m not crazy and we both know it.

I know the easiest way to feel better about your shitty decisions is by discrediting me. But come on, we both know that I’m not the crazy one here. I didn’t create some fantasy world where we texted all day and flirted all night. We actually did text. We actually did flirt. And you actually did care–or, at least, you acted like you did. So don’t call me a psycho for thinking you wanted to be with me. You gave me every reason to think that.

What you did to me isn’t okay.

I know everyone acts like dating is a game where two strangers compete to see who can care less and who can go the longest without texting back. And I know I should let what happened between us roll off of my back, because “shit happens.” But I’m an actual person with actual feelings. Others may think differently, but in my mind, it’s not okay that you played with me. It’s not okay that you tricked me into feeling something I shouldn’t have felt. It’s just not okay. I hope you realize that.

All I’m asking for is a genuine apology.

I’m not asking for you to build a time machine so you can take back what you did to me. I’m not even asking you to get down on your knees and beg for my forgiveness. I just want you to look me in the eyes, admit that you hurt me, and apologize for it. I just want you to take responsibility for everything that you’ve done. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. But fuck me for wanting closure, right?

You can keep justifying your actions, but it won’t fool me.

You can act like you did the right thing. You can act like I was better off without you. You can act like you did me a favor by leaving my life. But you’re grasping for straws. You’re trying way too hard to make yourself look good, because the truth is too hard for you to come to terms with. You don’t want to admit that you’re an asshole, so you’re trying to play the part of the martyr. And the worst part is, the only person you’re lying to is yourself.

I’ll admit to all of my wrongdoings.

I’m not blaming this whole thing on you. I’ll admit that I was wrong to put all of my faith in you when I didn’t know exactly where you stood. I was wrong to assume that you felt the same way about me as I felt about you. I was wrong to put you in an awkward position where your only choices were to break my heart or to keep stringing me along. So if I can admit that I fucked up, why can’t you?