How To Tell If An ESTJ Likes You (As Told By 10 ESTJs)

1. “When I like someone I invite them places with my friend group and flirt by being playfully antagonistic towards them – jokes, sarcastic comments, etc. I want someone who can stand up to me and keep up with me.”

2. “When I’m interested in a person, I start talking to them and giving them time. I start investing in them by learning more about their wants and needs and I try to better understand them. I start showing them a better way to live by suggesting better ways in which they can improve their lives.”

3. “I usually don’t initiate relationships, because I have a lot on the go as it is. But when I’m dating someone new I try to help them out as much as possible with whatever they need help with. My last girlfriend was a student, so I’d meet with her to go over her assignments and help her organize her schedule.”

4. “I flirt, or ensure I am in the same vicinity of them as frequently as possible.”

5. “I show someone I like them by doing special little things for them – buying them their favorite coffee or a sweet treat. Giving them my undivided attention and showing (or faking) interest in things they enjoy.”

6. “When I like someone I joke with them, offer to buy them drinks, and intentionally talk about things I know we have in common (or feign interest if not).”

7. “As an ESTJ woman, dating frustrates me a bit. I would like for men to be direct with me, but I’ve been told that I come off as intimidating – this is not my intent. When I’m interested in someone I show it by spending a lot of time around them and talking to them about their interests. I like for the guy to ask me on a date because I’m traditional in that way. But I appreciate being asked out directly and clearly, not being asked to ‘hang out’ or chill.”

8. “When I’m interested in forming a relationship with someone, I focus on how I could make their lives easier. I may offer to help them move, to give them a ride somewhere or to give them a massage if they’re feeling stressed out. I also like to pay for meals or coffees for them if we are out together. I believe that actions speak louder than words, so when I’m interested in someone I show them, rather than tell them.”

9. “I make a point to be very attentive about birthdays and special occasions, particularly when I am interested in someone. I will go out of my way to remember dates that are important to them and to find a way to make those celebrations special. I enjoy picking out gifts for the people in my life.”

10. “If an ESTJ likes you, you’ll know – because they will ask you out on a date. We have no patience for the ‘testing the waters’/flirting stage that everyone else seems to be so fond of. If I am interested in you, I want to start building a relationship with you directly.”

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