13 Times My Friends Had Better Advice Than Dear Abby

Sometimes I am baffled that the same people I get drunk and watch cute animal videos on Youtube with can lay down so much realness when I need it most:

On Going For What You Want In Life

1. “Go for it. Don’t over think why you shouldn’t. If the “why I should” outweighs everything else, it’ll all work out”

2. “The first step of not giving a fuck is actually not giving a fuck. Put that on a fucking throw pillow.”

3. “You and I are people who spend so much time analyzing and thinking so that we can pick the right thing, and sometimes we can benefit from just recognizing that we want it, picking it based on that alone, and jumping in head first”

On Interpersonal Relationships

4. “Part of being content in any relationship you’re in, be it romantic or otherwise, is knowing the other person is, as well. You want them to be happy and feel secure and trust you, regardless of the parameters of the arrangement. But if the effort you’re putting in to keep the other person happy and secure and trusting is keeping you from being even content, you’re sacrificing a level of self-care that can be really destructive…”

5. “You never need to make yourself less of anything in order for someone else to feel more comfortable with you.”

6. “I am convinced that young men who do not know what they want are the product of much of the pain in the world.”

7. “Don’t worry about if you are going to hurt the other person. If you are in love, you are going to hurt them. What matters is not if you hurt them, but what you plan to do to recover from it”

On Communication

8. “Never have the important conversations via text message if you can actually have them in person. If you could have them in person, but would rather have them via text, maybe these aren’t the people you should be having important conversations with…”

9. “People speak different languages of love. Sometimes they use words, sometimes touches, or gestures. You have to figure out how to talk in all of the languages, to love fully”

On Your Career

10. “Stop worrying about what your mentors have to say about if they approve of what you are doing. Recognize that their advice was valuable, but built for a different time. Take that advice and move on your own path, in your own way. This is not the good old boys club anymore.”

11. “No matter how much money you or your friends make, it is how you use it that determines your life”

On Being True To Yourself

12. “You need to learn that you can’t be responsible for anyone’s feelings except for your own. You aren’t responsible for creating them, and you aren’t responsible for fixing them.”

13. “For me, self mastery is like swimming: you cannot control it, and you cannot work against it forever. You can change it, but the real trick is learning the ebb and flow. You learn when to push against it, and when to ride it, when to slow it down, and how to step outside of it and review it.”