If Dan Stevens is the beast in beauty and the beast then honestly where does that leave anyone
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) March 5, 2015
I'm wandering around Whole Foods like tom hanks in The Terminal
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) March 10, 2015
I'm ten minutes early to a thing, I'm so humiliated
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) March 4, 2015
We are shooting in San Francisco and I am in the hotel bar like a sad Jason Reitman character
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) November 18, 2014
Remember when tom hanks had a toothache in cast away and the it almost killed him and he had to use an ice skate to knock it out? I loved it
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) November 18, 2014
If you like a pie that is a "blank cream pie", you are trash
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) November 18, 2014
Sure the Axis powers were worse than Allies but who had better accents
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) November 21, 2014
Sure he texted me Merry Christmas but will he text me happy Boxing Day
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) December 26, 2014
"She doesn't even know how to tell a story. It's like beginning, middle and meh."
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) December 27, 2014
SETH ROGEN AND CHRISTIAN BALE MAKING SMALL TALK AT CRAFT SERVICES IS THE MOVIE I WANT TO SEE
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 30, 2014
One thing Instagram does instantly is reveal who is living on a trust fund
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 21, 2014
leave a slice of carrot cake at my door if you love me
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) September 22, 2014
If your date orders a California roll and vegetable tempura you so know she is totally basic but you are also getting laid
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) September 21, 2014
When i have a crush on someone I pester them until they die
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) September 18, 2014
I'm watching The Notebook for the first time. I don't understand why marrying handsome rich sweet war hero James Marsden is so weep-inducing
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) September 13, 2014
I asked Joseph Gordon-Levitt if I could call him JoGo and he said uh, okay
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) September 9, 2014
I'm sorry I'm supposed to do yoga for NINETY fucking minutes are you kidding me I have to contribute to society
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) December 29, 2014
Skinny girls don't eat that much but when they do they instagram the shit out of it
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) January 1, 2015
One embarrassing Hollywood thing about me is I'm into the organic or homemade versions of popular junk food
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) February 8, 2015
Less champagne as dress color more champagne in glasses
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) February 23, 2015
I'm gonna watch #Workaholics tonight 'cause I'm one of those cool girls who likes guy things like drinking beer and giving head and stuff
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) February 26, 2015
