25 Old Timey Professional Sports Player Names, Probably
1. Don-bob Jimmersam – Basketball
2. Henry Defucking Greghorm – Lacrosse
3. Casio “Walter” Crestwell – Skedaddling
4. Jeepers Van Leejwen – Tennis
5. Namanth Fielding – Two-handed Tennis
6. Beelzebub Jones – Syphilitic Sailing
7. Attaboy Misogynist – Horseshoes
8. Baloney Raymond – Baseball
9. Eugene Barfsmith – Barn Punching
10. Robert Applesauce – Swimming
11. Speculum Kennedy – Hockey
12. I.V.K. Baldhead – Track & field
13. Johnny Johnny – Gayballs
14. Nards Flannagan – Football
15. Chef Kitten – Boxing
16. Mickey Bareback – Contact chess
17. Christopher Ghoul – Hoop rolling
18. Numbskull Montgomery – Fisting
19. James Crotch – Tonsil Hockey
20. Aijkwxiudymkil “Tommy” Schimdt – Cross-country jiving
21. CharlieGeorge Killkettle – Professional cigar-biting
22. Monty Applebaum – Dabbling
23. Dander McBrible – Haranguing
24. Sensible Fredmont – Dominos on an upside down trashcan
25. Dick Crossbones – Heavyweight red rover 
