1. Social Anxiety Guy
Social Anxiety is defined by Wikipedia as: “a discomfort or a fear when a person is in social interactions that involve a concern about being judged or evaluated by others. It is typically characterized by an intense fear of what others are thinking about them (specifically fear of embarrassment, criticism, or rejection), which results in the individual feeling insecure, not good enough for other people, and/or the assumption that peers will automatically reject them.
Social Anxiety Guy, is the man who can trace the genesis of his porn addiction to his social anxiety. You had major issues socializing with friends, spent an inordinate amount of time at home,talking to the opposite sex was out of the question, and ended up watching porn as an escape. If you suffer from moderate to extreme social anxiety, I will honestly tell you, that you will not be go very far in your real life sexual conquests until you deal with you social anxiety once and for all. I suffered from crippling social anxiety throughout my teens years – I can say with all honesty, that from the ages of 14-18, I spoke to a grand total of TWO girl my age about topics not related to high school. I also had huge phobias connected to going out in public and talking to strangers. I know exactly how it feels.
Your priority as a man with social anxiety to is DESTROY your social anxiety.You are not going to be able to approach women successfully much less meet women in bars or clubs and taking them home with you that night. Dealing with “last minute resistance” is a foreign concept to you. In another post, I will share all the resources I used to overcome my social anxiety. You have to be of above average social intelligence and maintain a strong grip on your social anxiety to start approaching women.
2. I Can’t Have Sex With A Women Without Replaying Pornographic Scenes Guy:
Okay, I couldn’t think up a catchy name for this type of man. If you have quit porn for anywhere between 30-365+ days and you are having sex with women but are facing problems such as replaying pornographic scenes in your head, or trying to reenact scenes from porn, don’t fret – this is absolutely normal for some men.
This response is taken directly from my email response to a reader worried about the above problem.Please bear in mind that this advice is ONLY for men who have abstained from pornography and masturbation for 90 days to a year. If you have not quit watching pornography for that period of time, your brain simply has not reprogrammed itself enough to avoid a relapse.You should not be watching porn, having sex or masturbating. I personally masturbate now, but I have been off pornography for 5 years and counting and it is done in a strictly regimented manner for my sexual performance.
The simple answer is that it takes time to completely reprogram your brain to have normal sex and it varies from person to person. You will eventually get back to having normal sex, but TIME and two other things will assist this process:
- How you currently view women sexually: Are you still objectifying women? Are you in a monogamous relationship? When I got off porn, having multiple sexual partner really helped bring back to normalcy, because I realized the different things that turned me on in different women-every woman was not just a “character in my mental porn film”. On the other hand, I was in a few monogamous relationships-this allowed me to actually learn how to take it slow and make love to a woman I had feeling for-especially when the women wanted to feel connected me rather than just get “fucked”. I highly recommend a monogamous relationship in the early stages of quitting your porn addiction.
- How you improve your sex life: Do you still masturbate? If you were addicted to porn, its advisable to start working on becoming better in bed. Kegels and other exercises that help you last longer in bed. I only recommend masturbation when you use it as a tool to improve your sexual performance. When you masturbate – try not to ejaculate. Do not use pictures or videos EVER. Do not imagine a woman you have had sex with or seen in porn – it has to be a woman you have preferable met in “real life” and are attracted to. Make your masturbation session (workout session as I call it) a practice in improving how long you last.Practice slowing down and watch your thought as you practice. If they keep going back to images from porn, force them back to the one woman you decided to masturbate to. Do not ejaculate to a porn image – you are only reinforcing the images you already have in your mind. This takes determined, focused practise.
While you might have several sexual relationships, you probably wont be very satisfied with them due to the lingering issues from your pornography addiction. You WILL achieve normalcy-but again, it takes times. Going out an focusing single mindedly of getting laid in your case is not a priority.Staying off porn and having great sex is.
3. Normal Average Guy:
There are men who are content to be average. Alot of men are aware of their porn addiction, lack of skills with women and near-virgin (or virgin) status. They have a choice to man up and do something about it on a daily basis, but instead choose to buy into the propaganda and beliefs such as that “Masturbation is normal and healthy,” “Pornography is ok,” “Men who approach women with the sole purpose of having sex with them are creeps”, “teaching men to approach women in bars is irresponsible and promoting the spread of STDs and porn” or my personal favorite: “Real men don’t DO Real women-only men in porn DO women.” Normal Average Guy falls into two categories – intelligent and lazy. The first category of too intelligent for his own good. He’s not ready to give up his porn just yet, so he researches his way back into justifying his shortcomings. The second category is lazy, but could be more accurately described as paralyzed thanks to low self esteem – usually due to years of reinforcing the above negative beliefs. 
This post originally appeared at Quit Porn Get Girls.
