Here’s Your Photo Of James Franco, Dressed As Batman, Coated In Jizz

Once again, my old nemesis James Franco has struck, doing something weird and pointless and stupid in the name of Art, or “Art,” or “…ART?!!!” …Or whatever it is that he thinks that he’s doing.

Previously, as you may recall, James Franco, actor, director, pretentious twat, writer of poetry, seller of air, maker of performance art out of dildos, creator of imaginary art — previously James Franco was content to do all of the dumb shit that I have just described.

But now, James Edward Franco has decided to take things to the “next level,” I guess, by using the medium known as “Instagram,” to photograph someone — presumably himself — dressed up as Batman and covered in jizz. So here’s the photo of that again and also a photo of James Franco’s probable hairy nipple covered in Batgear. Please to enjoy–

…So there’s that. This (brief) photo-series is entitled “50 Shades of batman and robin,” and is no doubt inspired by French surrealist film, Marshall McLuhan, the early Fluxus movement, Sartre and Camus, and whatever other indescribably pretentious bullshit James Franco likes to coat his brain in — when he’s not busy coating his head in jizz, that is.

Also, no doubt, the deep artistic purpose of James’s selfie-related-art is to remind us that of course we all are, deep inside, nothing more than scared little Batmen, scared little jizz-coated Batmen, hiding our true natures from the world with our Batcloaks and also a layer of jizz. Christ, I can’t even summon up the energy to make fun of James Franco anymore.

ANY-way, here is something far, far worse than any jizz-soaked Franco/Bathead. It’s a photo from his Instagram feed showing James Edward Franco wearing a really ugly overcoat, carrying a bunch of flowers, and grinning like a goddamn goober.

…Horrifying. Truly horrifying. And far more frightening than any Dark Knight of the Soul, Batmanbullshitart, or any jizz could ever be. Anyway, you can check out the rest of James’s Instagram feed right here. …And also; jizz. I just wanted to get the chance to type “jizz” one more time in this essay. Heh.