I Wasn’t Ready To Be Your Almost

Dear almost,

As I take my usual Sunday morning walk in the woods, I think of you and the picture of the beautiful landscape I would have sent you. You would have probably sent me a meme and we would have made plans to see each other that night or the day after. But I can’t because it’s been a month since we last spoke, since you ghosted me.

We met in the most unexpected way in August, and you were the first person I let into my life after a year of being single. You invited me for ice cream for our first date, and as cute, funny, and nice as you were, it didn’t click for me. But you still texted me, and we ended up seeing each other two times a week for a month and I grew fond of you. You were the first person in a year that texted me, not at 2 a.m. drunk, that they wanted to see me. You were the first person in a year, except for my friends, that texted me every day. You were the first person in a year that gave me a glimpse of a beginning of a relationship. I became attached to you. I was like a recovering alcoholic that was given a glass of champagne for the first time; I forgot about the high we feel when we start seeing someone.

You were very recently single and very honest about wanting to take things slow. I thought I was okay with that, but I wasn’t. After a month of dating, I wanted the good morning texts, the kisses on the forehead, the family dinners, the whole package, but you weren’t ready, or maybe you didn’t like me enough for that.

At the beginning of September, you ghosted me. Well, I don’t know if I can call that ghosting, but you canceled our Saturday night plans for a “family dinner” and never made any other plans or bothered to check up on me again. You still checked my Instagram stories and liked my pictures, but nothing more

Why is it always when we care that they ghost?

I’m starting to think that guys have alerts on their phone that tell them when we care or when we don’t care anymore so they can disappear or reappear in our lives.

I knew we would never be official, but I liked you. I liked messing around with you, talking about my funny stories, discovering your favorite TV shows. I wasn’t ready for it to end so fast and so suddenly.

I really hope we can meet again, and I really hope everything will be fine.

Your almost