30 Days Without You

Some days I couldn’t sleep because reality was sweeter than my nightmare.

Some days I couldn’t find a way to get up because my heart waited for you to come home.

Some days I couldn’t take another bite because missing you was making me sick to the stomach.

And some days I couldn’t stop my mind from thinking about you, because for that moment, you were here with me in my memories.

Some days my world froze because stillness was calmer than breathing.

Some days my tears were out of control because they were angry with you.

Some days my mind went in circles because it didn’t know what it was like to not miss your touch.

And some days my lips would only speak of you, because again, you were here with me in my stories.

Some days I counted all the reasons to hate you, but I instantly missed the way you used to stroke my hair.

Some days I was lonely and broken, but I thought of how you held me that last time we met—remember?

Some days I felt like a sad song, but I reminisced the way you owned the right side of our bed.

And some days my soul would go in a loop and miss feeling you, because one last time, you were here with me in my raw energy.

In this terrible time, I spent some days on you and I spent some days with sadness.

Some days anxiety came to say hello and some days pain came to feel me again.

But most days, I cried for you when I was awake and I missed you when I was asleep.

And with each passing day, I noticed how little you cared for me, how little you thought of us, and how you spent your 30 days in peace while watching me burning in a chaos you fabricated.