Zaron Burnett III

I once worked as a delivery driver for a Chinese restaurant in West Hollywood, and I quickly learned a big house in the hills rarely meant a big tip.

So… in an effort to help both sides of this divide, I brainstormed up a list of all the places my straight single guy friends and I spend time.

1. SURFING IS LIKE MEDITATION …GOOD SEX.

1. TRIVIA CONTESTS IN BARS

Like handing someone fine china, you wanna handle your honesty delicately.

If ever there was a country made for road trips it’s the States.

Over time, Disney princes will mess you up worse than a bad speed habit.

I don’t know about you but I’d rather breakdance barefoot on broken glass than be rejected by the only person I want and desire.

I had a number of other essays I wanted to write tonight. There were other topics that deserved attention, essays I humbly felt might shed light on the human condition, on the difficulties and odd experiences we all deal with on a daily basis. But here I am, writing a defense of pubic hair.

When I was a boy, if you were multiracial you learned pretty quickly there was no clearly designed spaced for you in the world.

If you look at the world as a reflection of your state of affairs, you will experience moments like these.

5. LOTS of people you wouldn’t expect smoke pot… like your new boss