Amanda Batula Explains Her Sexless Marriage With Kyle Cooke: “He Wasn’t Courting Me.”
On part two of the In the City reunion, Amanda Batula explained why she and her husband Kyle Cooke rarely had sex in their 10 year relationship.
She says:
1. She was depressed.
2. Kyle wasn’t courting her by taking her on dates.
3. She didn’t feel emotionally connected to Kyle — he would come home at night exhausted from work, bug her to complete her own work, and then want to have sex.
4. There was no foreplay.
5. She felt like an object because sex was the only time he actually engaged with her.
Amanda shared that she and Kyle had already discussed the issue in couples therapy before their wedding, where she told him she didn’t feel pursued or prioritized in their relationship.
“I didn’t feel like… Kyle wasn’t courting me. I wasn’t getting courted. There were no dates.”
Instead, Amanda described a routine that left her feeling emotionally disconnected from her husband.
She said Kyle would spend long days and nights working before coming home exhausted. Rather than reconnecting as a couple, she says he would ask her to finish work of her own before initiating sex.
“He would work all day, work all night, then come to bed, tell me to answer an email and then try to have sex with me.”
Amanda said the lack of emotional connection made intimacy feel transactional rather than romantic.
“It felt like there was no foreplay, no emotional intimacy, there was no conversation, again nothing else happening in the relationship.”
Over time, she said those feelings evolved into something even more painful.
“I felt used, like I was just an object at that point.”
Amanda also explained that the situation became more difficult as her depression worsened and their relationship continued to deteriorate.
“And then the depression hit also, and then it was just an unfortunate storm and then he would still go out, he would still do these things, we would get into big fights, I’d hear more rumors.”
According to Amanda, she didn’t keep her needs to herself. She says she repeatedly told Kyle what she was looking for in order to rebuild intimacy.
“I want to be taken out on dates. I want to go out to drinks.”
Her comments highlight a recurring theme that played out throughout their relationship on television: Amanda felt emotional connection needed to come before physical intimacy, while Kyle often viewed the lack of sex as one of the marriage’s biggest problems.
The reunion conversation sparked discussion among viewers about how closely emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are connected in long-term relationships. While every couple experiences those challenges differently, Amanda’s explanation suggests that, for her, the issue was never simply about sex. It was about feeling emotionally valued, pursued, and connected to her partner outside the bedroom.
What do you think about Amanda’s explanation? Do you think emotional intimacy has to come before physical intimacy in a marriage, or do you see the relationship between the two differently?
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