How To Let Go

There it is. That dull and familiar ache. An empty wanting.

That dull ache in the depths of our psyche that we are constantly trying to fill with food and comforts and drugs and pursuits and people and evidence that we are doing life right.⁣

That dull ache that feels like the remnants of a broken heart or the whisper of disappointment or the sense that something is missing. That dull ache living in the background of our lives.

Often, that dull ache originates in the unresolved sense of defeat and loss that life serves us daily. Every pending fear, every plan upturned, every expectation for answers or for a response for someone becomes a loss.

The biggest loss? The loss of sense of control of your external environment.

Most people are holding on so tightly to the illusion that if they get what they think they want — confidence to move forward, a perfectly executed plan, the sense of being ready, clarity before they leap, support from a friend or loved one — they will feel safe and be in control.

Sometimes it’s better to let things be, to let people go. Sometimes it’s better to release expectations for answers or closure or for someone to apologize for their harmful ways. Sometimes it’s better to center your attention on what is going on within you instead of what is going on around you. Sometimes you just have to work on yourself and your inner peace instead.

The ability to let go and move with the rapidly flowing passage of life is directly linked with your understanding that you are not in control. To let go does not mean that difficult emotions and unmet hopes and expectations disappear.

To let go means to let be.

To let go what we need is emotional agility. To be able to hold in our hearts the paradox of life’s beauty, which is inseparable from its fragility and to allow it to be exactly as it is.

Having emotional agility means we allow and accept the full range of our experiences and emotions without trying to change and control them. We observe them instead of becoming entangled in them or try to fix or control or manipulate them.

Developing such emotional agility can help us alleviate stress, become more innovative, and let go.

That dull ache in the background of your life? It is the doorway to your liberation.⁣⠀

See it as an invitation to let go of the stream of thoughts, fears, expectations, emotions and unmet hopes to make space for something bigger, better, more suited to you.

Be still.

Don’t do anything.

And if you cannot, ask yourself this: Why are you holding on? What is holding on giving you? How is it serving you? 

Can you let go of that?

Let go.