This Is How You Love A Girl With A Guarded Heart

“I don’t think you get it. Her guard is up, but that’s what naturally happens when you’ve loved with a heart so free and ended up in shackles behind the bars of betrayal. I don’t think you understand that she’s just trying to protect her heart from further damage. The women, who seem the hardest to love, often deserve it the most. You may not understand, but I do.” – r.h. sin

She comes off as being cold and insensitive, but I promise, she’s not. You see, when someone loves so immensely deep, to ultimately get their heart broken, everything begins to shift. It’s not just the relationship aspect of her life that shifts. Honestly, its every last detail of her being that dramatically changes.

She begins to look at life in a different lens. A lens that is cracked and blurred, but can you blame her?

After such heartache, and such betrayal it becomes almost second nature to bail the second she feels her heart light up again.

The walls around her heart didn’t just go up overnight. This was years of consistent disappointment and loss. This is years of handing her heart and trust over to another person, only to get it shattered into a million little pieces.

So, guys, here’s a glimpse in the mind of a guarded girl.

She’s strong, not insensitive. She always has one foot out the door and always has an escape plan. She knows the ones who are willing to fight for her are the ones that are actually worth the risk. So, if she feels she needs to leave, she will.

She loves with caution. She won’t love you any less, but she will love you with caution. She is looking at every detail of your mind. She’ll find every red flag and convince herself that you aren’t right for her. Show her you’re worth it.

She won’t fall for your words. In the past, words were her weakness. Someone along the way filled her mind with false hope and hollow dreams. She needs to see more than a simple text professing your love. She desperately needs action.

She may become distant. When she starts to feel too human and too vulnerable she’ll become silent. It’s a minor cry for help. In those quiet moments are the times she needs reassurance. Show her you want to know her mind and show her that her heart is safe with you.

She will show in little gestures that her walls are slowly coming down. She listens to you when you speak. She’s absorbing all your wants and needs that you allow her to know. She will show up with your favorite candy or sit in a bar with you while you watch your game. This is her way of transforming her feelings for you in action. It’s her way of telling you she wants you, without saying it.

She won’t give you every Friday night. Her guard has been up for a while now. She has finally adjusted to her life without having someone there. She doesn’t remember what it’s like to have to build a life around someone else. Be patient, she is trying to adjust her time and life to include you in it.

Her friends and family are watching your every move. Her support system has seen her fall apart. They watched as she spent the last few months picking herself up piece by piece. They saw exactly what it took to become the person that she is now, and they don’t want to see that struggle again. Just as your family is looking out for you, her family is looking out for her.

When she chooses you, you will know. It was probably the toughest decision in the world for her to choose to be vulnerable. When she decides to hand over her trust and her heart, I promise you will know. She will want to introduce you to her friends and her family, she will surprise you with your favorite beer, she will text you back the second she gets the chance to, she will make time throughout the week for you, she will tell you when she is feeling down, and she will love you unconditionally.

When you feel she is being guarded, just be patient, and show her that you are dedicated to her. I promise, you won’t regret it.