Tommy Paley

You organize a surprise birthday party for her and she shows up with a date who is clearly better than you in every way.

Meeting her for an early morning aerobics class and then being comically out-of-shape and disgustingly sweaty within 5 minutes is not good.

Through the years I’ve asked questions, I’ve raised my voice, I’ve demanded answers. 

Pretty exciting isn’t it, what with the sweaty palms, the involuntary leg shakes and the desire to abuse anxiety medication?

Remember to feign interest during this stage of small talk even if it feels like a small part of your soul is being vacuumed through your ears.

Tool of Titans: Why the Quality and Size of your Tools, and Yes, We Are Talking About “Those” Tools Makes All the Difference. Sorry.

Are you old?

Remember to feign interest during this stage of small talk even if it feels like a small part of your soul is being vacuumed through your ears.

Greeting her and welcoming her to “the date” is a potential landmine ready to explosively and preemptively end the whole thing before it even starts.

Each day you log on to check your numbers, to see that overnight, enthusiastic hordes of readers have once again viewed, read, recommended, shared and responded with glowing praise for your work. Everyone loves you.

Pulp Fiction, Nonfiction, and the occasional book of erotic poetry.

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