Rejected First Draft Titles Of Famous Movies
A Clockwork [insert name of random fruit here as it won’t matter as no one will understand what the f%@k this movie is really about anyways].
By 
Tommy Paley
1. From Here to a really really long time from now but not Eternity as that is more of an unachievable temporal concept and because we are paying the actors by the hour.
2. Schindler’s somewhat random and, frankly, very unorganized collection of secret names that would it have hurt him to have made into List form or at least used lined paper?
3. Peeved Bull who will get a whole lot angrier and possibly full of rage once the cattle prod arrives.
4. Partially Gone with the light breeze because someone didn’t rent a Wind machine.
5. One of a large group of strange men and women who for some reason unbeknownst to the rest of us like to be referred to as Wizards of Oz but in reality they are just plain weird.
6. A whole bunch of people talked a big game about Flying Over the Cuckoo’s Nest but only one was stupid enough to actually try: this is his story.
7. Lawrence of somewhere in the Middle East, it’s really hard to keep track as it just so sandy and the guy never sits still or forwards his address.
8. In that neighborhood nearby the Waterfront as they didn’t book ahead during tourist season and there is no way they’d get a room.
9. The Sound of whatever they are passing for Music these days
10. 12 Angry Men and the women who loved them, tolerated the anger and occasionally soothed it.
11. The Silence of the Lambs that was mostly due to intimidation from those mean ol’ goats.
12. It’s an above average Life that could be a whole lot worse believe you me.
13. Some say they Like it Hot but then they constantly complain about their discomfort and family history of heart and circulation problems.
14. Jaws (okay, who’s bright idea was it to cast an actual, bloodthirsty shark?!?)
15. Apocalypse should be any minute Now but it’s hard to predict exactly when a cataclysmic event will occur on our budget.
16. To Kill a Mockingbird, a pigeon, a blue jay or even a cardinal, we aren’t picky, we just want to kill birds.
17.A Clockwork [insert name of random fruit here as it won’t matter as no one will understand what the f%@k this movie is really about anyways].
18. Soon to be a Doctor once he gets off his lazy ass and finishes his degree Zhivago and would it hurt him to call his mother once in awhile? 
