Toby Davis

A self-checkout becomes a checkout if you buy booze.

The internet gave birth to its most recent child with the video “Too Many Cooks.” It originally aired on Adult Swim at a 4am time slot sandwiched in-between some infomercials.

For everyone that was wise enough to choose the life of fun in the sun while getting paid, congratulations. You were at least, at one point, making the right decisions in life.

When it was all said and done I had sent out over 100 resumes and cover letters, and had moved into five different places in 6 months. Your 24th year on this planet may or may not be as all over the place as mine, but either way I thought I would pass some things I learned last year onto you:

4. Do not, under any circumstances, cry noticeably in public.

It’s getting to be that time of the year again when people in relationships have to pretend to care about it, and single people have to go out of their way to pretend not to care about it. That’s right; it’s almost Valentine’s Day.

Fear the sleep-leaner.

You’ve jumped on more hay bales than trampolines

When you were a kid it seemed like everything had an added sense of wonder to it, and even the most mundane things were interesting. So I thought I’d remind all of us jaded adults how wonderfully ordinary the world used to be.

Scott Hoy is a lawyer in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. On this particular commercial however, Hoy perhaps should have asked for a retrial.

Well the world got the chance to hear about another day of the week this Saturday, as Rebecca Black’s “Saturday” quickly reached over 11 million views in a few days. But how does it compare to her mega smash hit “Friday?”

If meals were people, these meals would be slam poetry artists covering the topics of genocide and toddler suicide.