A Gift Guide For The Crush Who Barely Knows You Exist

Ah, so you have a crush whom you’d like to shower with affection in the form of gifts, but can’t confirm that they’re aware of your existence? This is tricky because it’s a great opportunity to let them know you’re a person who is currently living and breathing in this world, but you also don’t want to tread along the wrong side of the line and come off as strange. Remember, you know more about them than you’d like to let on and it’s important to avoid buying something too sentimental or expensive. Your great grandmother’s ring and your favorite childhood blanket are off limits due to dangerous levels of creepy, but here are some more reasonable recommendations.

SpaFinder Gift Card (For Two)

Why for two? Because your crush will bring somebody with them, probably a parent or close friend, and who will be praised and discussed? You. The sweet, thoughtful person who is responsible for their amazing massages and facials and exfoliations. You’re already in their good graces, but this essentially guarantees that you’ll be a topic of your crushes conversation and it’ll all be happening while they receive spa treatment. Meaning you’ll be directly associated with the relaxing, fantastic feelings they’re experiencing in that moment.

Wine

Obviously you’re going to want to confirm that they’re a drinker first, but those who enjoy wine can never have too much of it and to add a bottle to their collection can lead to a rise in your stock. Make a comment about wanting to try a glass yourself and perhaps they’ll catch the drift and pass along an invite.

Edible Things

C’mon folks — food, especially sweets, is one of the best methods of winning people over and crushes are not exempt from this notion.

Dinner & a Movie Gift Card Pack

You give your crush Applebee’s and a movie and pray that you’re the one they invite when they cash in aforementioned gift cards. This is basically like pre-purchasing a date so if you don’t find yourself sitting across from delicious appetizers or next to overpriced popcorn in a theater, chances are your crush couldn’t take the hint or didn’t want to. This is pretty bold and very risky, but the best case scenario makes it worth it.

Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On

It’s only the most romantic album ever so you can’t really go wrong here. Unless of course your crush hates R&B/soul music in which case you should consider that this person could never like you because they have terrible taste in things and you’re awesome.

Hey Arnold on DVD

This may be a long shot but perhaps by watching Helga’s long distance crush on Arnold, they’ll have a realization that you feel equally passionate about them.

A Crush shirt

Few things are going to be more blatant than this, right? If your crush thinks this has anything to do with thirst-quenchers, they’re probably a few cans short of a 6-pack or something so don’t blame yourself for their not understanding the not-so-subliminal message.