10. Doing that thing during sex where you move your hips in a circle. I would say 1/2 of all dudes I’ve fucked, and trust me that number is uncomfortably high, do that move and it does nothing for me. It does however take me out of the moment and cause me to think “What? This? Again?”
11. When it’s hot and heavy and you go straight for the vajayjay. No foreplay except for some kisses. That gets so boring.
When you shove your dick into my neck like a battering ram. I need to use my esophagus later to swallow food.
When you think we will think less of you when you say “I don’t know”. Its ok if you don’t know, just don’t pretend to know something you don’t.
When you think we will think less of you if you show emotion. I don’t need you blowing snot bubbles and weeping uncontrollably, but a few tears every blue moon, or something lets me know you have a soul.
When you call other women bitches or hoes.
When every time I put my hand on your arm, you immediately flex your bicep. You just made it weird.
When you fuck like a porn star. I don’t want to have my back twisted and my legs bent like pretzels in a position where I can hardly breathe while you drip sweat all over me and I’m holding in a fart. Can we find a position we both enjoy?
When you talk shit about your boys or your boys’ people over petty stuff. I know some of y’all, men and women, live for drama, but I don’t get down like that.
