1. She didn’t know how to insert a tampon.
“My wife had never used a tampon in her life. We were on vacation in the Caribbean when ‘Aunt Flo’ showed up. I went to the gift shop got a box of tampons for her, and we were off to diner. As we left diner and began to walk here’s our conversation:
Wife: Something isn’t right. This thing feels like it’s going to fall out. Me: what do u mean it’s gonna fall out? Wife: I don’t think it’s in right. Me: WTF do mean it’s not in right? Didn’t up put it in, pull the string & throw the applicator away? Wife: Applicator? What? I took it out of the wrapper and just put it in there. Me: How is it I know how a tampon works and my 44 yr old wife doesn’t?
So we walked towards the sea in the dark and I’ll be damned if her little cotton friend didn’t fall to the sand still in all his plastic encased glory. Needless to say we had a long talk about our changing bodies and read a goodnight story from the back of a Playtex tampon box.”
2. She would burn pasta.
“Cooking….like at all…she would burn pasta…”
3. She didn’t realize you can copy computer files.
“At the time girl had no idea how floppy discs or USB drives worked.
She saved everything in My Documents and opened from there.
She legitimately thought computers were personal -as in files stayed where you made them.
When I stored her essay on a disc and moved it to my computer she thought I was a magician. It was insane.”
4. She couldn’t tie her shoes.
“Years and years ago, I dated a young woman who admitted that she couldn’t tie her shoes.
At the time, I thought her lack of skill in that regard was somewhat strange, but it made sense when she explained it to me: The girl had only worn Velcro-fastened sneakers as a child, and had switched to slip-on footwear once she had outgrown that particular style. Since she’d never had a reason to learn it, knowledge of how to tie shoes had simply passed her by, despite the fact that she was completely comfortable tying other knots.
Anyway, in an attempt to help the young woman, I started giving her opportunities to tie my shoes. It only took her a few attempts before she had filled the gap in her skill set, but the practice also became a joke of sorts between us. Unfortunately, it drew some strange looks (and one curiously angry reaction) one evening, when – while attending a party together – I pointed out to her that my shoelace had come undone, and she immediately bent over to tie it for me. We had to quickly explain the story behind her behavior, but a handful of people remained unconvinced.
The lessons stopped after that.
TL;DR: I nearly got myself lynched by helping a girl learn to tie her shoes.”
