47 Former Players Reveal Exactly How One Special Girl Changed Them For Good

By Thought Catalog, May 5th 2018

https://develop.thoughtcatalog.com/?p=886757

2. “Hard to believe, maybe, but my whole perspective changed from watching a twenty minute TED talk. It’s by this guy Jackson Katz, who argues that ‘women’s issues’ like violence against women are actually ‘men’s issues’ too. I started off hate-watching it on this chick’s computer the morning after I banged her. But I quickly realized—to my own annoyance, at first—that the guy was making total sense. And that I was pretty much a jackass for being so conceited and acting as if I was entitled to sex just because I was a man or something. Katz made me see things clearly, suddenly, and now I actually identify as a feminist. Did I just say that out loud?”

— Gary, 36

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Thought Catalog

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.