19. Full-on tongue action with a gay friend for a solid 20-30 seconds.
“Full-on tongue action with a gay friend for a solid 20-30 seconds. This happened after another friend kissed him and he said he wondered if I was a better kisser. I was drunk so why not?
Another drunk night he propositioned me at the end of it. Ended up turning him down because we worked together and had a bunch of mutual friends and I didn’t want to make shit awkward.
I’m not against having a gay experience, just don’t seek it out. My wife and I are happy, but she’s told me if I ever decide to have a ‘friend’ it’s alright by her as long as I’m safe about it.
20. Drunken underwear wrestling with my roommate in college.
“Drunken underwear wrestling with my roommate in college. I noticed he was hard and was like wtf bro? He was like yeah I’m gay I thought you knew where this was going.
21. Earned a free beer at a gay karaoke bar.
“I was at a work convention and these other vendors wanted to go do some karaoke. I agreed. They found the nearest place, turned out to be a really dodgy bar in a bad area of town. Walk in and it’s clearly a gay bar with a large number of cross dressers and transsexuals. They get an absolute kick out of our button down and dress pant wearing straight asses. Fearless, the leader of our group immediately gets on the list and sings some Bruce. Quickly we become a hit. I venture up to the bar for the first time, still wearing my lanyard from the show and my embroidered work shirt.
At the bar, the bartender is ignoring me and even looks up from her phone and returns to playing on her phone. I’m getting the impression I’m not welcome. I get a tap on the shoulder. It’s an older frumpy man who’s been drinking too much. “How are you sweetie”. I awkwardly navigate the conversation because I’ve never been hit on before. It’s actually kind of nice. He gets the idea when I mention I’m married after he inquired about my availability. I turn back to the bartender who is still ignoring me, only to get another tap on my other shoulder. A very tall man dressed in a woman’s night gown is wiggling his fingers at me. “You’ve got a nerdy vibe going on!” I exchange pleasantries, he chats with me about why I’m here and thank him for the compliment.
I turn back to the bartender. She has a beer ready for me and says “this ones on the house” and winks at me.
I turn around and half the bar cracks up at my red face. Apparently they really enjoy making a naive kid earn his first beer.
I sang a song after that, they loved me.
