8. I took a piss on a pile of dirty laundry.
“I played a show with my band at a bar, then proceeded to have way too many tequila shots bought for me. I lost my shirt and passed out. My fiancée took me home and I puked in her car (all down my front and the passenger door). I walked into the bedroom and fell face first onto the bed, covering it in puke too. She put me in the shower and went to clean up everything. She then got me out of the shower and into (the now stripped and cleaned) bed. Apparently in the middle of the night, I got up to piss and decided that the bathroom was too far, but her pile of dirty laundry was not, so I took what she described as
‘the longest piss ever’ onto her clothes.
When I woke up in the morning, she informed me she was taking my car to work, and that I had to do all the laundry and try to clean her car more. I remember thinking that if she was ever going to leave me, now would be the time, and I wouldn’t even blame her for it because I had gone too far and that was fucked up to put her through. She stayed though and we had a beautiful wedding.
Epilogue: I don’t regret doing all that now because we separated 5 months later due to me finding out she had started cheating on me with her boss/my good friend only 7 weeks after the wedding. So that’s neat.”
9. The groom slept with one of our friend’s sisters that night.
“Me and a few other friends rented a cabin and invited some friends for our friend’s bachelor party. Way more people ended up there than we wanted. But during the bachelor party, he kept saying ‘I get a free pass tonight boys!’ We thought he was kidding. He was obviously pretty drunk. We all were. Later the next day we found out that he was not kidding and slept with one of our friend’s sisters that night. Needless to say, the wedding was canceled. He came over the next day pouting because he thought that’s what a bachelor party was for. To sleep with someone else one last time before getting hitched. He’s a dipshit.”
10. I had sex with a man to see if I liked it. I did like it. So I had sex with two more men and sucked another one off.
“I had my stag do a week before my wedding.
I had always been curious and my curiosity got the better of me that night.
So I had sex with a man to see if I liked it. I did like it. So I had sex with two more men and sucked another one off.
It made me feel something I had never felt when having sex with a female. I realized that I wasn’t just curious. I was gay.
I called the wedding off and came out to my ex just three days before we were supposed to marry.
The only thing I regret are the years wasted on women.”
