5. A bottle thrown during a fight at a strip club sliced the best man’s face from above the right eye to below the left ear.
“Bottle thrown during a fight at a strip club sliced the best man’s face from above the right eye to below the left ear. Looked like a bloody mummy at the wedding.”
6. One guy wandered off drunk in the Canadian winter, walked across ice, fell in the water, and froze to death.
“Not married, but in the city I used to live in, some guy died the night of his bachelor party.
So, he’s at the party, getting just fucking plastered. He’s total asshole drunk. Even though his group has a private room, he’s going around the bar bothering everyone. Belligerent, loud, and only getting drunker. His groomsmen try for hours to get him to chill, but he ain’t having it. Finally they decide to just let him loose for a few minutes.
There’s a pub crawl bus there, and he decides to get on. He’s not a member of the crawl, but he’s drunk enough to not care and the driver doesn’t notice at first. After the bus gets rolling, he starts causing problems, and the people realize he isn’t on the crawl, do they make him leave the bus.
Last time anyone saw him alive.
Days, weeks go by. The family and bride are distraught. Finally, I think it was three weeks, they find a body in a thawed part of the river. Apparently the guy didn’t want to walk to the bridge, just wanted to cut across the frozen river. But only the very top layer was frozen. The rest, as he learned, was very much liquid. Trapped under the ice in a moving river, drunk as all hell? Never stood a chance.
This all happened in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. It was in all the papers, there was a big debate on who was liable: the bar, the crawl bus, or the groomsmen. I remember because I was bouncing the bar just down the street at that time and the manager to be a little extra vigilant about looking after over-served customers from then on. We were right on the riverfront.”
7. Did a little too much cocaine and decided to whip my cock out and rail the stripper in front of everyone.
“Did a little too much cocaine and decided to whip my cock out and rail the stripper in front of everyone. Regret it? You could say that. Set the tone for our short lived, drug-fueled marriage.”
