6. Leave a voicemail about it that they end up playing in front of their birthday party guests.
“Send them an email about it on their birthday, and leave a voicemail about it that they end up playing in front of their birthday party guests.”
7. Tell them you never had feelings for them and were just lonely and horny.
“‘I never had feelings for you. I was just lonely and horny, and you were there. I’m sure you were, too.’”
8. Tell her you’re fucking her sister.
“Get on one knee and say ‘[girl’s name], I’m fucking your sister.’”
9. Dump them the same day they got hit by a car.
“This was a long time ago. My girlfriend that I lived with had been cheating on me with a few different people while I was gone at work. I found out through a lie and then proceeded to see all the info on her phone. Still tried lying at this point to me. Anyways, advance about a month where I had slowly been trying to get out of the apartment. I planned when to like officially break up with her because it made sense realistically to do it later.
It was the day and she got hit by a car…I got a call near the end of my shift that I had to go to the hospital because she was there. They made it sound way worse on the phone. So I get there all worried and she’s totally fine, just a little bruised. Her mood is normal and she was smiling.
Well, I did it. I broke up with her that night. The amount of anger and hate that came from her for doing it on that day of all days. Hahaha.
So I had to explain the amount of suffering I’ve been through at her hands and the shit I would have to go through in the future now because I’ve lost this important thing called trust. It was a pretty bogus break up but hey! ..I can say I’ve dumped someone the day they were hit by a car! Lol”
10. Tell him you’re pregnant but don’t love him anymore.
“My ex told me she was pregnant but didn’t love me anymore. That has to be up there.”
