The New York Times and other major news networks, state BP and the Federal Government are once again at odds. BP claims that everything has been going great since they dropped a containment cap on the gushing well head on Thursday.

New testing, however, has found suspicious leaks spewing hydrocarbon and methane from the seabed around the well. These developments have been subject to rigorous “monitoring” and as of today the leak remains closed.

National Incident Commander Thad Allen has done what every responsible bureaucrat would do in this situation, responding with a strongly worded letter to BP: “I direct you to provide me a written procedure for opening the choke valve as quickly as possible without damaging the well should hydrocarbon seepage near the well head be confirmed.”

The plan moving forward seems grim: “opening the well and letting crude flow freely into the water while BP works to funnel oil to ships on the surface.” BP is sticking to claims that the well will not need to be reopened, and the containment cap can stay in place until relief wells are completed within the next several weeks.

Another dark twist, if the well isn’t reopened we may never have an accurate quote of how much oil was flowing from the leak per day. This means that BP may potentially avoid millions, even billions, of dollars in fines.

The pattern is a familiar one, oil spews from the gulf and bullshit spews from BP.