Ted Pillow

20. Donkey Punch (2008) – Rated R for a scene of strong sexual content involving an aberrant violent act, graphic nudity, violence, language and drug use.

Ruben Stoddard Potential media-friendly nickname: “The Howard Taft of Popes.”

Want to spice up the action in the bedroom for a memorable St. Valentine’s night? Die your pubes blue, for Christ’s sake!

I resent the common vernacular that I took and you lost your virginity, the implication that it was solely a one-way transaction.

Basically, I need to have fun on a schedule because I don’t have very strong self-control. The Royal Rumble does this for me by providing me with an exciting new participant every 2 minutes.

I’m a huge sucker for space movies (let me emphasize the space aspect — the loneliness, vastness, etc. — because aliens are kind of hit or miss for me), and I’m hoping that this film will scratch that itch the way the incredibly underrated Moon did in 2009.

After all, the only thing more aesthetically pleasing than a formless, wrinkled sack of flesh is a hairless, formless, wrinkled sack of flesh.

Did I make it clear that by “web design,” I mean that I used Angelfire to make a website about Kid Rock in 7^th grade?

“It is a disturbing conundrum that true free will cannot exist without the possibility of suicide. Then again, it ain’t over ‘til it’s over!”
– Yogi Berra

Were the Mayans on Eastern Standard Time? Central Standard Time? Is everything just going to happen all at once, or at midnight in each individual time zone?

Regardless of the reason you choose to pregame, you should be aware of some unintended side effects. First, there is a distinct chance that you’ll never actually make it out to the event that you are pregaming for.

You escape free will to escape a prison of your own design.