Ted Pillow

Old Navy: We are only as empty as our cargo pockets

“That’s so raven.”

“He was expelled by the team on August 14 when he told the team he was going to a funeral, but instead went drinking.”

This weekend, I present to you… Drunken Time Traveling. (And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call burying the lede.)

A patently ludicrous cult thriller about Devil worship and human sacrifice in which Martin Sheen screams a lot, The Believers occupies a strange space between camp and grim mean-spiritedness (the opening scene seems specifically designed to have traumatically scarred me as a child, which is exactly what it did).

I’ll never forget the first year I tried a sexy costume – 1992, when I was Sexy Charles Grodin. What should have been an unforgettable evening was ruined when someone brusquely pointed out that “Charles Grodin doesn’t have gout.”

Sit down with a beer or two and put your feet up.

Girls go crazy for complex, intricately sculpted facial hair.

2. Oregon Trail

Trees Lounge is understated and poignant – it understands quite a bit about alcoholism, never glamorizing or demonizing it. The result is almost like one of Raymond Carver’s prosaic tales of run-of-the-mill, drunken melancholy.

You: Mellow greetings. What seems to be your boggle?

7. Wes Anderson’s Unbearably Precious Ninja Turtles