Ted Pillow

The ‘60s are similar, in that living through them apparently gave people the right to do things that are now considered morally and legally objectionable. However, the people who lived through this era of decadent drug use and sexuality are now in positions of authority requiring them to condemn today’s youth for the very same activities.

Kathy originally feared that she was unqualified to perform brain surgery on herself, but, after Googling it, she felt prepared and confident.

Yes, this is inspired by the SAT analogies segment from Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Yes, I’m aware that the SATs no longer have analogies. Yes, I remember the episode of Full House where D.J. takes the SATs. Yes, according to Saved by the Bell, Zack Morris got a 1502 on his SATs. No, that is not possible.

I will distill your entirety into a single paragraph based on completely subjective means before all is said and done, I promise.

I’m paid to analyze the most trivial thoughts and irrelevant events in the lives of complete strangers, and even I don’t care about this. I’d rather watch a Celebrity Rehab marathon than spend another second dealing with the worthless drivel you post in your “updates.”

I’m sorry that I installed Norton AntiVirus on your computer. I didn’t realize that it’s actually far more annoying and malicious than any virus could possibly be. You have to admire their audacity, though. I mean, they’re just shameless.

Tia and Tamera come to grips with the realization that their twinship is not a playful flourish from the idiosyncratic hand of God, but merely a production error from the mechanized assembly chain of creation.